Make no mistake about it, people pleasing is usually not a win. If you’re in this boat you’re not alone, too many live their lives as if they’re here for the exclusive purpose of satisfying others. People pleasers are everywhere.
“Are the feelings, you get from people pleasing, supporting you or are they undermining your potential?” Be honest, really honest.
Who are you trying to please?
The usual suspects are parents, teachers, bosses, friends, peers, and even strangers. Anyone who has found their way to be the object of your people pleasing talents. The irony, most of these folks don’t even know or realize the effort you’re going through, or that you are even doing it.
Even you, likely can’t articulate your exact motivation at the moment. More than likely you just want to be liked, to feed your vanity or stroke your ego, or to hide and slide by below the radar. Stop rationalizing your bullshit.
The real question is what are you giving up?
Bottom line, most of those we are trying to please, think they’re right, and that you have come to your senses and recognize their brilliance. Meanwhile, you have lost a bit of your soul; your individualism compromised, your solutions and ideas now destined for the dust bin. Remember you can’t lead from the back of the pack.
If you see yourself as a people pleaser, I implore you to turn the tables and put yourself in the center of your universe.
Why or why not?
Life is delicate and fragile. Uncertainty will regularly blow across your bow. Your life is more important to you than it is to anyone else. Treat it with respect.
Make a rash and brilliant decision to satisfy yourself first. Life is not as bleak as you think it would be if you put your dreams in the cross-hairs and gave them the attention they need.
Habits become ingrained, regardless if they are good habits or bad. Make “you” the priority and with regularity and consistent work looking after your goals first, will become a good habit. The door first opens a crack and then with consistent effort and usually, when you least expect it, swings wide open. Walk right in; they’re waiting for you.
Find a place to be true to you.
Be wise, don’t undermine your strengths, abilities or maybe most importantly your character by putting others first. The urge to please is primitive, probably goes back to safety in numbers or being in the glow we get when we feel accepted.
Do you like me now? ~ Think World Class