It’s Never the Other Person

Brent Baldwin“It’s you ~ dumb-ass. I said ok, I get it, it’s my perspective and not the other person, but did you have to call me dumb-ass?”

As it turns out it was probably one of the best pieces of advice that I have ever received, and likely not as harsh as it should have been. All the same, it got my attention.

Up until that point, I assumed that I knew what other people were thinking about me. That sounds ridiculous when you see it written down. Why is it we believe that we know what the other person is thinking about us? The truth is we haven’t got a clue, and if we did the last thing we should do is care.

If I think it matters for one minute, I am going to start changing my direction and actions. I am going to start serving someone else’s agenda and not my own. This strategy will never get you where you want to go.

Without even realizing it many people in your life, including friends and family, want to keep you in a box. It is easier to define you and your relationship if they can compartmentalize. Place great big borders around who, and what they believe you are and should you try to cross any of those lines they will slap you back or choose some passive aggressive withholding in the relationship. I guess they think you are going to come slithering back with regret and remorse, ready to make amends and get back in your box.

It is a true friend and an honest relationship that will support and encourage your personal development. Seek out these relationships and work collectively to help each other while the rest of the world tries in vain to keep the status quo, status quo.

World Class Thinking means Thinking World Class

Life ~ An Emotional Rollercoaster

Brent BaldwinThere are days when I am on top of the world. Everything’s coming up roses, and I walk around telling everyone I meet that

“it’s the most beautiful world in the world.’

And in that head space, at that moment, it is.

Then there are days when the big black dog of depression sits at my front door and hangs its dark shroud. Dark emotions show up as an unexpected visitor with bad news. Life loses any hint of brightness, and its luster fades to gray.

When faced with dark days we often choose to ignore the emotion or suppress it, clearly not an effective long-term strategy. Sooner or later “the stuff” bubbles to the surface. The longer you wait, the more power “the stuff” has.

Suppressed negative dark emotions materialize as inappropriate responses or misdirected reactions. It’s never a good moment when that happens.

Life is not an endless Shangri-La

With sunshine and rainbows every day. Nor should it be. Reality is, sooner or later the big black dog is going to sit on your front step or at least cast its long shadow on your door as it passes. And then what are you going to do? What is your strategy?

Suppress or Deal With It?

At best suppression has but a momentary effect. The strategy of acting like nothing’s wrong and expecting a transformation into tranquility may work momentarily, but I’ve never seen anyone with the ability to harness its power long term. Bit by bit, little by little it morphs into something requiring guilty and long overdue attention.

Sooner is Better Than Later.

It all starts with recognition and acceptance. No-one gets out unscathed. On occasion, everyone has dark days.

Acceptance is a critical strategy when going from where you are to where you want to be. Seeing and feeling discomfort now is always better long-term, rarely is it comfortable in the short-term.

Remember, when life throws you a curve ball, getting around it can often seem like an interminable game of inches. This situation may very well be a marathon when all you feel capable of is a sprint. Persevere, don’t loose heart, and inevitably you will prevail.

Lead with your heart

What are you going to do? What strategy, habit or belief are you going to lean into to put this aside and give you the chance to start moving forward? What is the most honest, heart fealt, and effective act you can do right now to deal with this and move on to better times?

Although it may sound like an oxymoron but dealing with an issue sooner rather than later is typically the path of least resistance.

Riding the ups and the downs ~ Think World Class

Limitation or Convenient Excuse

Brent BaldwinDon’t let your limitations define who you are.

The older that I get, the more aches and pains I notice. It becomes too easy to be defined by my bad back, weak knees, or frozen shoulder.

There is a line in a Leonard Cohn song that says:
“I ache in the places that I used to play.”
unfortunately, this line resonates in my life; some days more than others.

When you decide to define who you are by what you can’t do,

At that point, you have decided to stop living and have relegated your participation to the fine art of watching others live life fully (thank god for television). Surreptitiously watching, silently lamenting yet fully resigned never to try. Leaning oh so heavily on the crutch of limitation. I am my limitation. How dare you ask me to give it up. Be forewarned the decline only accelerates from here; brace yourself it could be a long lonely slide to the end.

I will never run a 4-minute mile but rest assured I can run (or walk) a mile and yoga seemed so unnatural, yet today what feels strange is missing a class, I will never be the best, but I still reap the rewards and the personal satisfaction that feeds my soul.

The World Class never let the things they can’t do stop them from doing the things that they can do.

If your perceived limitations keep you out of the game and on the sidelines, you are living a middle-class mindset.

Get over it and get in the flow; figure out what you can do and then do it. Choose how you want to participate in your life, not just physically but intellectually, and emotionally as well. This concept applies to all areas of your life, take chances.

Jump in ~ Think World Class